right here, right now

I've been a mother for 9 months, three weeks and four days.

This is my first gig as a parent. Some days I feel like I'm all over it, nothing phases me and I walk around feeling like super woman. Some days it's more of a close-your-eyes-and-hope-for-the-best kind of a scenario. I google. I read parenting books. I talk to my mummy and daddy friends. I ask my parents questions. I mull over things with my husband and partner in crime. I find a lot of security in the notion that it really does take a village and that we are "all in this together".

During this time the thing that has surprised me the most is just how much my son teaches me, on the daily. He has such a way of drawing me in and helping me to focus on the "now". My son is completely present in everything that he does. When I join him in being "all there" amazing things happen.

Being completely present is not something I've ever really been great at. I'm of the distracted kind and always thinking of everything I need to get done. That's changed a lot for me since becoming a mother.

I'm not just talking putting your phone down, turning off the TV, getting off the computer blah-blah-blah. We know all of that stuff. We hear it all the time. 

I'm talking real soul to soul connection. Real growth. Real communication. Real love.

For me- when I am able to authentically connect I find that I become my true self. Dare I say the version of myself I hope to always be. I find that I'm able to trust myself and believe in my abilities as a mother, as a human being.

That soul to soul connection changes things. Everything calms right down. Time does seem to stand still. I love with my whole heart, laugh with genuine enthusiasm, teach with true intent.

I promised God I'd never take this mothering role for granted. I thank my son daily for showing me how to do it. For giving me more than I feel I could ever give him.

This journey is filled with so many moments and so many memories. 

My hope is to always be present enoughto be able to say: "my favourite moment is right here, right now."