And then we were parents

I'm probably not going to get into much detail about the birth of our son. Purely because it was the best and most spiritual experience I have ever had and something I will cherish forever, privately with my husband. What I will say is that our little boy surprised us coming a month and half early, he came the day before we were about to start birthing classes, I nearly delivered him in the waiting room, it was serenely calm, I didn't need to scream and that midwives are actually angels and I loved mine- I made sure they knew that. The moment I saw my son my world changed forever in the best way possible, I have not looked back since.

What I do want to write about is parenthood, because on the same day my son was born, I became a mother, and my husband a father. I've learnt a few things that have been absolute gems for me- so I thought I would share.

The first thing I learnt was to gather my hens (which for me actually included an equal amount of roosters) and none of them were actually birds- but you get the gist. Gather the people around you that are going to love and support you. These are the people that understand that you just met your child. They know that you are establishing a parenting style. They get that this time for you is sacred and they have got you covered. These are the people that suddenly become very interested in the contents of your fridge. They fall in love with your piles of laundry and have no issue folding your maternity undies. These are the people that are happy to watch and observe. They are not the intrusive kind. They are people that want you to succeed. They listen. They remind you what adult conversation sounds like. They get you out of the house every now an then with the expectation that you are somewhat concerned about getting out in the world with your new born, but know you can do it. This is your cheer squad. They will salute you. They will call you by your nick name and make a brand new world feel familiar and warm. These people are your world. They know that without needing reassurance. They are happy for all your attention to be on your new little family. These are the people that you hope and pray one day you can return the favour.

The second thing I learnt was to sleep when your little one sleeps. You knew you were going to be around the clock hands on before your bundle of joy arrived. What you didn't know was how tiring it can actually be. I felt like I had a bit of an advantage here, sporting vampire skills from my study days and being a late night kind of person- however, sleep is of the gods and must be taken advantage of. Sleep, sleep is good.

The third thing is this- be proud and unapologetic about your parenting style. Everyone is different. My husband and I are absolutely the kind of parents that listen to baby Led Zeppelin and string quartet versions of Imogen Heap, Ben Folds and Incubus with our child. We are absolutely the kind of parents that have our child on lock down and don't freely pass him around. We like to read and play with our son. We are the kind of parents that are trying our best for our son (like most parents around the world do). We are parents that understand that we are the only two people on the face of the planet that actually have to answer for our son. While others may have opinions, some helpful and some not- they don't actually have to answer for our child. We do. I do believe that it takes a village (see the gather your hens part) but ultimately the responsibility lies solely with the parents. Most people will understand that. Some wont. And that is OK.

These are just three things out of the hundreds of little lessons I am learning on the daily. I share these things to aid and lift. I honestly feel that the more we link arms together in this venture called parenthood, the more we laugh and learn to love each other and our children, the more we encourage each other and share of our knowledge that we will find true joy and less of the need to compare. Stronger and happier parents we will be.

I feel like that makes for a wonderful world.